Something My Father Taught Me

Something my father taught me

was always have enough water

in your house

so that if your water supply got cut off

you would have enough water

to keep you hydrated long enough

to make a trek on foot

to your nearest town

and get to a convenience store

and take by force, if necessary,

however much water you needed,

using a tactical shotgun for persuasion.

Our Father, The Anal

“His family was wealthy.”

What this means is often that
his father had a penchant
for putting objects up his ass,
not “his” ass, but his father’s
own ass.

I’m not sure why, but about
80% of wealthy patriarchs
have a thing for putting
things up their ass.

Maybe it is another way for them
to consume more and more,
as much as possible of the world.

Their appetite is voracious and
most of us want to be like them,
the wealthy patriarch, putting
things up our ass.
It’s true, we do.

Most of them have diamond or
at least cubic zirconia encrusted
butt plugs.
But us, most of us, we don’t.